Concerning finances, I have no complaints when it comes to how God has provided for us. We have enough to live on, to give and some to set back. Yes, the early years of our marriage were difficult. Yes, we had times when we didn’t know if we could make ends meet, but for the here and now our daily needs are provided for. Am I saying that God has gifted us with an income so large that we can’t think of any other way to spend it? Of course not.
God’s great gift in this case hasn’t been a large income, but something even more valuable…contentment. Without contentment no sum is large enough, no amount of money will satisfy.
I thought I had this contentment idea down…until school started last week.
Doing the instruction and homework for four children at different levels takes most of the regular school day. Throw in the classes, appointments and practices that crowd our schedule and it’s nearly impossible. When will I clean the house? When will I write? These questions have churned in my head until they’ve sloshed out on anyone who comes near. I need to have more time to spend on several fronts, but have no way of purchasing any. The number of hours budgeted for a day is absolutely firm, and I’m not happy with what God has allotted me.
And then I realize that my complaints say less about my lack of time and more about my lack of faith.
Sure I’ve trusted God with our money and He’s proven faithful, but this is TIME we’re talking about. He can’t stretch it like He can a dollar, can He?
What message am I sending to the unfortunate people within earshot? What testimony am I sharing? That God has shorted me? That He failed to give me what I need?
So far, two weeks in, we’ve made every appointment and met every obligation, yet I’d complained before I’d given God a chance to provide. I told the world that I feared God wouldn’t be sufficient.
So what should I say instead? Yes, I’m busy, but my Father loves and cares for me. He’s given me everything I need thus far and I trust He’ll continue to do so. Yes, I’m busy but I expect that this will show me how dependent I am on God’s provision and grace.
It’ll still be a struggle not to despair when I look at the calendar. I’m going to slip up and whine about my “hardships” but now I can’t claim ignorance. God knows what lies before me. He knows my obligations. He’s told me to be content with the things that I have…and that includes my schedule and the 24 hours He gives me each day.
It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning,
And Your faithfulness every night,