(Picture by Jay Weidenbach)
We encourage giving. All giving. If a can of soup shows up in an empty pantry, we consider it mission accomplished. After all, it doesn’t really matter how it got there or who gave it, does it?
The other day I witnessed a exchange that I’ve seen a hundred times, usually with my own children. I was at a bank and the teller offered the little girl in front of me a lollipop. She accepted and then piped up, “Can I have one to take home for my sister?”
Charming, thoughtful and sweet. But just as I was about to congratulate the mother, she corrected her. “Honey, if you think your sister would like a sucker, give her yours. Don’t take from someone else and call it a gift.”
Was This Woman Crazy?
It sure sounded like it. Who corrects their child when they are being nice to their sister? By limiting the girl to one lollipop the mother was almost guaranteeing that her other daughter wouldn’t get one. What would it hurt to take an extra home?
But the more I’ve thought through her response the more I appreciated the principle she was advocating.
If You Think Someone Should Have Something – Give Them Yours
We used to have neighbors who borrowed our pick-up and tools frequently and we were glad to help them out. Then one day they mentioned that our pick-up had gone to a town an hour away because their family member had a job installing windows and needed a bigger truck to carry the materials. One day we learned that the tile saw they were borrowing wasn’t being used in their own house but had been passed on to someone at their work without our permission.
I’m sure they meant well, but was it right for them to take the credit for the generosity when it cost them nothing? If they’d wanted to rent a truck for their brother, they were free to do so. If they wanted to invest in their own equipment and loan it to friends, they could have afforded it.
And I’m Just as Guilty.
How many times have I told someone about a great cause before I’ve written a check myself? How many times have I passed on prayer requests when I’d failed to pray over the situation that day? Sometimes it’s hard to judge our hearts, but if the teller at the bank is only giving you one lollipop, what you do with it is a good test.
The Only Gifts You Can Give are the Ones that Belong to You
Maybe if we’d stop trying to get our hands in other’s pocketbooks…if we’d stop waiting on the rich, the church, or the government to step in… maybe we’d see the potential of the resources God has trusted to us. Ultimately, that’s what we’re going to give an account for – what we gave ourselves, not what we redistributed between two other parties.
Do you agree? Would you ever stop a child from taking extra to give to friends? How would you apply this principle?
Ouch. I see way too much of myself in this post. I want to give, but I often don’t want to give up what’s mine to do it. Not like David, who refused to give the Lord something that cost him nothing. But I never thought of how that distilled down to my generosity toward others, which is really giving to God. Guess the Lord and I will be chatting about this quite a bit over the next few days.
I thought of David’s comment, too, Anne. How generous we feel when we’re considering what others should give. Thanks for commenting.
Wow! This is definitely thought provoking. We automatically think the little girl is so sweet to think of her sister, but the greater truth is just as the mother says.
Thanks for the reminder that true giving comes down to sacrifice and selflessness, not surplus and self-preservation.
Wow! Conviction. So much conviction. I will look forward to sharing that lesson with my children. Thank you for sharring.
A great post. I’d like to think I’d stop my children from taking extra to give to friends. As to applying the principle… I think that will be one of those moment by moment, lesson by lesson things to be applied. Not just for lollies, but for lots of different things. Time, chores etc.
All the best as you write for His glory, Lucy.
Oh, my, I’ve never tho’t of giving in that way, but it struck a note in my heart & I will definitely be thinking differently from now on. Wonderful post. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.
I teach the preschooler class at my church. Often kids ask if they can have an extra prize out of the treasure box for a sibling. I always tell them no, that the sib will get something from their own class. This is because I can’t afford to give prizes to the entire church. But I like this mother’s response better. Instead of the child shrugging and leaving my class with one prize, maybe they’ll think for a split second about giving up their own prize. But better still, every time I respond in kind, I will think for a split second how easy it is to be generous when it doesn’t cost anything. And how hollow. Thanks so much for posting.
Thank you all for commenting. You raise a good point, Teresa. Eventually even the giver of the freebies runs out and then they aren’t able to give to those they’d like to give to. Good contribution.
What a better way to learn the art of giving! My two girls are experiencing this lesson, they are very sweet and almost untaught selfless (don’t get me wrong they still hold on to some things!) but as their dad and I try to be Godly examples in our lives everyday ( dying daily to our flesh) I see these gifts being brought to life. It always stops me to give a moment of thanks to God.